Frederella
by Misako Hashiba
Summary: Some people decide to put on a play. Rated for slight slash and twincest. All in good fun ^_^


Ok, this is just a silly little thing I came up with for the FredandGeorge mailing list ^_^ There is some slight slash and twincest happenin. As always, these people are not mine. So, sit back and try to enjoy ^_^   
  
  
  
  
Frederella  
  
Ron: *walks out in a dark, stone gray suit, blood red tie and black leather shoes. He bows* Good evening, Ladies and Gentlemen. Tonight, we are pleased to bring you...Cinderella!  
  
Fred: *sneaks onto the stage and whispers in Ron's ear, then sneaks off again*  
  
Ron: Correction. We are pleased to bring you.../Fred/erella! *walks off as the audience applauds, the curtain opening as soon as he's disappeard*  
  
Fred: *in a ripped brown dress, complete with a tattered white apron and white tights that had a run from his ankle to his thigh, on the right leg. he sweeps the floor with a very old looking broom and sighs* This bites. I'd rather be pranking people. *calls over his shoulder to backstage* How come /I/ have to clean up everything??  
  
Draco: *from backstage, in a high pitced voice* Because I /said/ so! Now shut up and get back to work!  
  
Fred: *in a sarcastic mocking tone* Because I said so. Blah blah blah blah blah... *mutters* Well screw you. *goes back to cleaning*  
  
*two figures enter from stage right, one taller than the other*  
  
Mcgonagall: Frederella, aren't you done /yet/? You should have been done /hours/ ago!  
  
Fred: But the room is HUGE, Stepmum. How can I finish it in an hour?  
  
Hermoine: *flips hair over her shoulder hautlly* ANYbody can do it in an hour, stupid.  
  
Fred: Ok...*holds out broom to her* YOU do it then.  
  
Hermoine: *small gasp* MUMMY!  
  
Mcgonagall: Frederella, how /dare/ you tell my poor delicate daughter to sweep the floor! *grabs broom from him* Now go to th- *gets cut off as a door bell sounds* Go answer the door.  
  
Fred: *hangs head slightly* Yes, Stepmum. *turns to leave and gets swatted on the bum with the broom* eep! *quickly leaves*  
  
*door bell sounds again, this time a tad impatiently. If that could be said about doorbells, that is*  
  
Fred: I'M /COMING/! KEEP YOUR KNICKERS ON! *finally gets to the door and opens it* Yes?  
  
Percy: *in royalish, muted blues and golds, holding a finely stitched bag that matched his clothing. he clears his throat* I've come on important business for the king.  
  
Fred: Yeah, ok. Whatcha got in the bag? *tries to look in, curious*  
  
Percy: *holds it away from him, then reaches in and brings out an envelope* Here. *Fred takes it* Good day, Madam. *bows head slightly and is off*  
  
Fred: *shuts door, blinking* Well...that was odd... *shrugs it off and starts to open the envelope.*  
  
Draco: *saunters over to him and peers over his shoulder. in same high pitched voice* Well, well, well...what have we here?  
  
Fred: YAA! *jumps, accidently tossing the envelope into the air, and spins around* DRACO!  
  
Draco: The one and only, dear "sister". *smirks as Fred catches sight of the envelope* Let's just see what you've been looking at, shall we? *as Fred had already opened the envelope, he takes out the folded letter and flips it open. eyes get wide as he reads* MOTHER, HERMOINE! COME LOOK AT THIS!!!! *rereading it as the two rush in to the room*  
  
Hermoine: What is it Draco??  
  
Draco: *hands letter to Mcgonagall* Take a look.  
  
Mcgonagall: *reads letter out loud* 'His Majesty, King Sirius, and his wife, Queen Lupin, hereby cordially invite you our son's Find Me a Wife ball. Please bring any eligible young ladies you have laying around. Thank you.' Well, how about that! *gets envelope from Draco and, after refolding the letter, stuffs it back in*  
  
Hermoine: Wow! A ball! *squeels with glee* I might just get to be a princess!!!  
  
Draco: No way! /I/ get to be the princess!!  
  
Fred: What about me? *the three turn to look at him* I'm eligible, too. Or did you all forget that?  
  
Hermoine: *gasps* You can't go! Mummy, tell her she can't go! *turns to Mcgonagall with wide, watery puppy dog eyes*  
  
Draco: Yeah, Mother. She's spoil EVERYTHING!  
  
Mcgonagall: *holds up a hand to stop any further protests* Who said I was going to let her go, anyway? *smiles evilly at Fred* She has /way/ too many chores to be galavanting at a boring old ball. Don't you dear?  
  
Fred: What if I finish them on time?  
  
Hermoine+Draco: *bust up laughing*  
  
Mcgonagall: No. Now help us get ready.  
  
Fred: *sighs* Yes, Stepmum. *follows the three to their rooms*  
  
*curtain closes on the three as the scene ends and the aduience applauds*  
  
Ron: *walks back on stage* We will now be having a fifteen minute intermission. Please use this time to get any snacks and take any necesary bathroom breaks. Thank you. *walks back off as audience talk amongst themselves, get snacks etc.*  
  
*Backstage*  
  
Draco: Ugh! Who's the wise ass that put me in THIS part?!  
  
Hermoine: Do calm down, Draco. It's painfully obvious if you'd just take the time to think about it.  
  
Draco: *snorts* Well, one doesn't need to figure out why YOU got this part.  
  
Hermoine: Hey!  
  
Percy: *to Ron* Do you think my performace was acceptable?  
  
Ron: *rolls eyes* Percy....there's no way you COULD have messed up. That part was /written/ for you!  
  
Percy: You think so?  
  
Ron: I know so.  
  
Snape: *is pacing back and forth, glaring hatfully at the prop in his hand*  
  
George: *walks up to him and slaps an arm around his shoulder* Hey, Snapester. You enjoying the play so far?  
  
Snape: *glares* No. I am NOT enjoying the play so far, Mr. Weasley. And do you know /why/?  
  
George: Tights ride up on ya?  
  
Snape: NO! I have to wear this..this...this COSTUME! *tugs at what he's wearing*  
  
George: *tries, but fails to surpress a grin* Aww it's not so bad!  
  
Ron: *checks watch* PLACES EVERYONE! *watches everyone run for their spot, then walks out onto the stage* Ladies and Gentlemen, the second half. *walks off as curtain rises*  
  
*Mcgonagall, Hermoine and Draco, all decked out in poofy dresses of deep red and gold, rose red, and green and silver (respectively), standing by the door. Fred is a few feet behind them*  
  
Mcgonagall: *turns to Fred* Now rememer, Frederella. All chores MUST be done by the time we get home. Or you'll be going on a one way trip inside the oven.  
  
Fred: *whispers* That's not in the script. *Mcgonagall shrugs so Fred continues with his lines* Yes, Stepmum.  
  
Hermoine: And you better not get into my clothes. You know how I HATE it when you wear my clothes.  
  
Draco: And likewise don't you get into my *hides a slight wince as he says* pretty pretty Barbie collection. I've been working on it for years!  
  
Fred: I wouldn't DREAM of it. *holds a hand up boyscout style*  
  
Mcgonagall: Good. Then we're off. *ushers her two daughters out the door and into the waiting coach*  
  
Fred: Great. NOW what am I supposed to do?? I don't want to spend the rest of my life cleaning chamber pots! *sulks over to the kitchen*  
  
*cloud of smoke and a /POP/ stops him in his tracks*  
  
Fred: *coughing* W-what the?!  
  
Snape: *appears after the smoke subsides, wearing a baby pink leotard and tutu, white tights and white wings decorated with silver swirls, holding a silver wand topped with a gold sequined baby pink star. He looks /less/ than pleased**mutters darkly under his breath before adopting a frightenly surgary sweet expression and a high pitched voice* Hello deary!  
  
Fred: *blinks in shock (mostly from not having seen Snape in his costume before now)* W-who are YOU?  
  
Snape: /I/ am your fairy Godmother, child. *curtisies, which almosts sends Fred sailing past his restraint into laughter*  
  
Fred: Er...Fairy Godmum, are you here to help me with my chores?  
  
Snape: And mess up my brand new manicure?! You're on your own, pal! *ahem* No, dear girl. I am here to send you to the ball. *smiles sweetly*  
  
Fred: *gasps in delight* YOU MEAN IT?!  
  
Snape: *regresses into his usual voice* No, I'm funnin' you, stupid *coughs and adopts high voice again* Er, I mean..Yes deary. I truely mean it. *nervous girly laughter*  
  
Fred: THANK YOU! *thows arms around Snape's neck, nearly knocking the man over*  
  
Snape: Yes, yes, you're welcome. Now stop it you're bending my wings.  
  
Fred: Sorry. *lets go and grins at Snape, who's fixing his wings*  
  
Snape: Now then, all I need are some mice and a pumpkin.  
  
Fred: Mice and a pumpkin? Where am I going to get-- OH! I'll be right back! *races off to get the aforementioned items. Returns a moment later with a cage in one hand and a pumpkin under the other arm* Here they are, Fairy Godmum!  
  
Snape: Thank you deary. Now place them on the floor and stand back. *Fred does so, Snape waves his wand and with a POOOOOF, where the pumpkin had been was a very intrictely detailed golden coach and the mouse was now an old, balding geezer in Noble threads* How's THAT for some magic!  
  
Fred: Oooooooo.... *dashes around the coach and geezer in delight*  
  
Snape: Hurry up and get in, girl, or you'll be late.  
  
Fred: *was about to step in when he realized* Wait a minute! I can't go wearing /this/! I'd be the laughing stock!  
  
Snape: *gets a load of what Fred's wearing* Oh, er...yes, that would definately be a royal no no. *waves wand again and Fred is now wearing a beautiful poofy red-wine colored dress, complete with matching earings, lipstick and a diamond tiara. On his feet were some dainty glass stiletto heels* Now off you go.  
  
Fred: Thanks Fairy Godmum! *boards the coach and lets the man shut the door*  
  
*coach is driven away, manully by the old geezer (as there was only one mouse, there would either be one horse and no driver, or a driver but no horse)*  
  
*At the ball, already going on*  
  
Sirius: *lounging on his throne, eyes sweeping over the many girls present* Do you think he'll find a girl, tonight, Lupsie?  
  
Remus: *also watching all the people* Of course, dear. And if not, the ball won't end until he does.  
  
Sirius: Yes. I won't have him pulling pranks on anyone anymore. *sighs* The poor kitchen maid found a tack on her chair the other day. Screamed bloody murder, too.  
  
Remus: *nods in agreement*  
  
*Other side of the dance floor*  
  
Hermoine: *dancing with George* You know, this is the best moment of my life. *smiles at him* The way you dance is simply devine. Did you know that?  
  
George: Oh noooooo, you've only told me five times already. *dips her, wanting to drop her, but doesn't as his parents are watching*  
  
Hermoine: *giggles, not seeming to hear what he said* You're so dashing, You're Highness.  
  
George: *mutters* Great...  
  
Draco: *on their next spin past him, he pushes Hermoine out of the way and takes her place* Hello, You're Highness. *smiles sweetly*  
  
George: Hello...again. Shouldn't you give the other girls a chance?  
  
Draco: But, /Darling/, we were MEANT to be together! Can't you see that? *gives him puppy eyes*  
  
George: *smiles back weakly, silently wishing this would end soon*  
  
*Fanfair sounds and everyone turns to stare at Fred on top of a staircase*  
  
Fred: *looks about nervously, takes a deep breath and descends stairs*  
  
George: *so taken by Fred's beauty, unconcsiously drops Draco on the floor and heads over to Fred. Bows to him and takes his hand* Why...hello, Miss.  
  
Fred: *blushs, curtsying* Hello to you, too, Sir.  
  
George: Care to dance?  
  
Fred: I thought you'd never ask. *the two start a sweeping waltz, while the rest of the dancers make a circle for them to dance in*  
  
Sirius: *watches the two* Look, Dear, George finally seems to be having fun.  
  
Remus: Great! Let's get the royal minister and marry the two before she gets away.  
  
Sirius: Great idea, Love. *sends for the minister and soon Snape appears wearing the royal black costume of a misister*  
  
Snape: *waits patiently for the dance to end* Ladies and Gentlemen, may I have your attention please? *everyone stops and looks at him* Thank you. Now then, we would like for young Prince George and his current dance partner to step forward, please.  
  
George: *exchanges a look with Fred, who just shrugs and both approach Snape*  
  
Fred: What's going on?  
  
Snape: You're Highness, do you?  
  
George: *blinks, then realizes what's happening* Yes!  
  
Snape: Young Lady, do you?  
  
Fred: *takes him a bit longer, but with a nudge from George says* Yeah sure, why not?  
  
Snape: Great, you're married, go screw or something. *turns and leaves*  
  
Fred: *extremely happy* Oh George!  
  
George: Oh Fred! *both hug and immediately being snogging their brains out*  
  
Hermoine: *watches, disgusted*  
  
Draco: No faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaair!!!!! *has a tantrum on the floor*  
  
Mcgonagall: *kicks him* Get up. You're embarrassing me!  
  
Fred+George: *face the audience* And we lived happily ever after!  
  
*curtain closes, audience applauds (some give a standing ovation), curtain reopens and everyone gives a bow to the audience*  
  
Ron: *walks to stage center after the second round of bowing and bows himself* Thank you for watching Ladies and Gentlemen. The cast will gladly give out autographs in the lobby. And remember, you can always pick up a photo of your favorite actor or actress, in costume, also in the lobby. The photos move, so you can enjoy for as long as you'd like. *grins* Goodnight everybody!  
  
*everyone mills out into the lobby, where the cast had already collected as Ron was speaking* 


End file.
